I died slowly,silently

I watched you

With the wife and children

Strolling along the malls

She, in a dera to hide the overgrown curves, you called them

Laughing with the children at your silly jokes

You looked happy, very happy

I remembered your words, again, I just want to leave that place, it’s toxic

But that wasn’t toxic to me

We bumped into each other

I could swear you had never seen me

Sorry dear, she said in a concerned tone as she looked at my short dress

I shouldn’t have tried to pull it lower

It was that look she gave me

I saw your look too, of concern

To her

She smiled and you walked on, happily

I watched you out of the mall

Your endless chats, the pats on her back

As you tried to settle the kids into the car

She got in, you closed the door

I remembered your words, Get in quick before someone sees us

A crash!It was your car.

Your kids,unhurt. Yourself, unhurt.

But your wife, she was unconscious

Her nose bleeding, her left hand broken

You were like a mad man trying to save her

Babe, don’t die, I can’t leave without you…you kept chatting

I remembered your words, if she were dead, I would be the happiest man with you

I offered to stay with the kids, you almost said no

The crowd made you

Then you hopped into the ambulance, muttering short prayers

The crowd made me stay with the kids at a close hotel

Where they could watch me

They didn’t know I knew you too well and you, knew me, too well

You came, hugged the kids, saying mummy will be ok.

I opened my arms to you, you took my hand

Shook it respectfully and asked to take me home

The taxi driver smiled when I offered some tea in my home and snacks for the kids

He grinned when the children took the offer, fast

You had been to my house, million times

The kids were too tired, they slept on the couch, fast

Take a bath, I said. You were reluctant, kept shaking your head muttering her name

You couldn’t resist this body when you were out of the shower

But this was different, it was a vent of frustration, a hump of pain, a thrust of fear, fear of losing your loved one

Then a call, please dont pick it, finish first, I begged

You pulled out, quick, it could be about my wife

It was, you were over the moon, she was now out of danger

You called a taxi, picked the sleepy kids and left

Days later, a knock on my door, it was you

You did not notice my weight loss, or my winces of pain

As I moaned in pain, you moaned in pleasure

Then I told you. About a year is all I have

Have you told your man? You asked. I smiled to hide the deep sharp pain in my heart

I could have said, you are my man but I said, You are the first person I have told

I thought you would say, Babe, I can’t leave without you, don’t die

But you stared at me, with a scared look then asked, What, is it contagious? Will my wife get it too because we…

I smiled again, told you cancer was not infectious and you breathed a sigh of relief

You, in your way to show you cared, asked me to tell my parents, they would take care of me

Call me anytime, were your last words as you hurrriedly left me

I wondered whether you had forgotten I had no parents, you were my world, my everything

I called, you picked, Wrong number,you would say and click to convince your wife

I died slowly, silently, and you did not even attend my burial because that was the day your wife was going for a check up.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s